Journal Entry August 2 9:18 am

August 2nd 9:18 am
Lectoure, like Barcelona, has decided to throw me a farewell party complete with rain, wind, and thunder. I find it a comfort onse again that my emotions match the weather.
I let myself sleep in until 9 this morning! I am getting so lazy. I wish I had something to do to occupy my time. When I get to Barcelona I may splurge and buy a new notebook, if I have any money for it, as this one is nearly full.

2:19 pm
Well the train to Barcelona was full but I got a ticket to Toulouse and then I will figure things out from there. It's actually kind of a hidden blessing because I would have only had ten Euros left if I had to go all the way to Barcelona. Now Elea's parents don't have to worry about me and I will have enough money left for a hotel and maybe food. I need to find a hotel with wi-fi so I can communicate with Dad just in case he found an earlier flight for me. It's not that I don't like France and Spain, both are beautiful but I miss home and I feel incredibly unproductive here. Today's the second and when I talked to Dad yesterday the earliest ticket they had was the seventeenth. That's fifteen days of me doing nothing but spending their money.

I'm sitting across from a woman holding a dog like a baby. Earlier a small girl and her baby brother came wondering into our car. The baby grabbed my pants to pull himself up and when I looked at him he giggled, oh how that giggle pulled at my heartstrings. I just wanted to pick him up and hold him and play with him. I guess there really is a mother inside me somewhere waiting for its chance.

3:08 pm
In Toulouse, same hotel different room. This time I'm in 4 not 9 there is no pretty balcony view here but the room is actually a little better. I need to ask the employee who speaks English if they have wi-fi here. I didn't ask last time because I was too busy panicking. It seems silly to me now but when it was happening it felt very frightening. Tomorrow morning I will get up and go to the station to find a ticket. By then Dad should have gotten to the bank.

This room was clearly decorated with girl customers in mind. It has pink lamps, pink picture frames, and the designs on the curtain and blanket.... yup pink!