Journal Entry June 28th 8:58 pm

First day of class and I´m the first one here (I´m a half-hour early). It was kind of an accident, I had wanted to be sure I wasn´t late so I left around 8:30. I certainly wasn´t late. I really hope they do have computers for us to use like Dan said because I don´t like having to borrow his or Luna´s all the time.

The teacher said there´s a cafe on the top floor, that sounds promising. So far I´ve seen 3 people from the class; a girl my age, an older guy, and an older woman (probably in their 40s). They are from Miami, San Francisco and Davis (which is apparently near San Francisco). I feel like an eskimo being from Michigan.

It´s now 9:30 and we haven´t started yet, Barcelona time is going to take a while to get used to. Haha The girl my age just graduated college with a political science major!

Wow, the rest of the class just walked in, mostly white women, big shock right!?

The girl (Gillian) and the woman (Laura) from earlier are both basically doing the course to bulk up their credentials, I feel a little less guilty about taking the class and then leaving.

1:11 pm

Well it´s lunch time so I figured I would write for a bit. A lot of the people in the course are trying to decide if they want to teach or not, so I´m not alone in that aspect. However, I do feel that I´m the quietest one, which I could have guessed would happen. I guess wallflowers don´t really do this sort of thing. But I´m not really a wallflower, more like a wallweed. I really don´t add to the decor and I feel much more in the way than like some pretty decoration on the wall. I guess some people are made to be in the limelight but that´s just not for me.

Give me a quiet home with lots of books and music and occassional visitors and I would be happy as can be.

I came here hoping to rid myself of some of my fears and doubts but all I´ve really done is bring them forward and solidify them. I don´t want to live in ignorance or naivety but I do want to live where I am comfortable and at home. I feel that the people here came to be tourists; to go to the beach and build up their credentials at the same time. I don´t want to be like that. I want to learn, to really get to know the place, to learn how the people think and feel and live. I want to gain real value and insight, although a resume boost wouldn´t hurt either.

What do the rest of the world´s ¨wall-weeds¨do?

It´s strange, I´ve gone without seeing my family for more than a month before but this is different. They were always within reach when I needed them, but more importantly, I was there for them.

It is often said that the most important things in life really aren´t things at all. It´s true, the most important things are relationships, and right now I want to be with those people with whom I have meaningful relationships. I want to be home.
6:10 pm

I hope Elea and Dad both get my messages soon. I explained to Dad that I plan to finish the course, go visit Elea, and then go home. On the same note, I wrote to Elea asking her to check with her parents and make sure it will be okay for me to visit.

I think I'm more likely to cry when I see her than when we say goodbye. It would be out of relief at seeing a familiar face.

It's strange, at home I'm kind of a loner, but when I leave I want someone with me. I wish I could have made Lindsey come with me or something.

Did I mention my class looks like an ad for Abercrombie & Fitch? All skinny white girls that convinced their parents to pay for their Barcelona vacation on the pretense of it being educational. Am I like that? Obviously not the skinny part, but the rest? I know I'm spoiled but is that what people see when they look at me?

8:34 pm

Random thoughts....

-Nearly everyone here smokes
-I don't think I will use the metro at all, the walking is beautiful!
-Everyone here is skinny (this may be due to the smoking and the walking)
-Tapas are moslty seafood here; garlic fish, squid rings, a kind of tuna casserole etc... but the potatoes and sauce was good, the pa amb tomaquet (toast topped with tomato juice and olive oil) was not as good as I had hoped it would be.
-I hope we can do some stuff together after our class sessions, I'm not big on bars or clubs, but walking to the beach would be cool. (Anything is better than sitting and feeling lonely).