I'm scared. There I admitted it. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. Mortified. Petrified. Stupefied. I haven't admitted that yet, not even to myself. I've said I'm nervous or excited but I haven't yet confessed to the fear I have been feeling. With 48 days until I leave I am now openly admitting that I am scared of what lies ahead.
Spain has a 20% unemployment rate right now, the last thing people there want is to see an American coming in and taking their jobs. Greece was in as bad of shape as Spain and they are having violent riots all over the country. That could happen in Spain. The gorilla group ETA operates in the north-east of the country (which is right were Barcelona is located). Terrorists have attacked Barcelona and other major cities in Spain. The economic issues in the world have created political unrest in many countries, is it really that much of a stretch to imagine these things happening in Spain's near future?
I could end up broke and alone in Barcelona. I could take my class, while searching for tutoring and other positions, get done and have absolutely nothing. This whole thing could blow up in my face!
Only at night when I am by myself trying to sleep do these thoughts creep into my head.
I lay in bed practicing the little Spanish that I remember, hoping that if something happens it will be enough to get me through. I know it's mostly nerves and that I am a resourceful person, of adequate intelligence to deal with such issues. I even know that I handle crisis situations well. What I do not know is the future. Paging Lady Cleo...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You are right. You are a resourceful person and you could handle any crisis situation that could come up. You can always hop a train to Lectoure, France if things don't work out in Spain.
ReplyDelete